Conquer Club

This is how the game works, the rules are simple, you wish for something, and the following poster grants your wish, but at an ironic cost.

I.E.

Me: I wish I had some pie!

Next poster: Wish Granted! But the pie is too hot and you somehow burn your ear off.

Same poster: I wish i was an NBA player....

And so on and so forth...
I'll start off!

I wish i had a million dollars

WISH GRANTED BUT THE MONEY IS COUNTERFEIT AND YOU END UP IN JAIL

I WISH MIDDLESBROUGH WERE THE BEST FOOTBALL TEAM IN THE WORLD

Already been done.

-X

XenHu wrote:Already been done.

-X

Granted, but people will never learn to use the forum search.

XenHu wrote:Already been done.

-X

Read the rules

I wish I could fly

wish granted, but american jet fighters shoot you down.

I wish you are a retard.

Granted! thus i'm talking to you, which no self-respecting person would do!

I wish Jenna jameson would give me a BJ

Granted, but she is now 90 years old and had a sex change.

I wish for super strength

Granted, but you are so heavy that you fall to the earths core and burn and die

I wish i were awesom... (oh wait, thats already true)
I wish I were not so hot

Granted, but you freeze in Hawaii and die of cold in Alaska.

I wish to be the greatest athlete in the world

granted, but you get busted for using roids and get mobbed

I wish I could put a sword down my throat (this is gonna go bad, I can tell)

Granted, but you end up bleeding internaly, and stick the sword through your nads.

I wish for immortality

granted. 'nuff said.

I wish I could control when dwilight opened.

Granted, but replace the phrase "could control" with "will never again" and "when dwilight opened" with "have sex."

I wish I had more wishes.

Granted, but you have so many that you drown in a giant pool of all the things you wished for.

I wish I could play guitar like Hendrix.

misterman10 wrote:

XenHu wrote:Already been done.

-X

Read the rules

I did. And it's already been done..


-X

The Kurgan wrote:Granted, but you have so many that you drown in a giant pool of all the things you wished for.

I wish I could play guitar like Hendrix.

granted, but whilst setting your guitar on fire you catch alight and have a fiery death

i wish i was a genius

diddle wrote:

The Kurgan wrote:Granted, but you have so many that you drown in a giant pool of all the things you wished for.

I wish I could play guitar like Hendrix.

granted, but whilst setting your guitar on fire you catch alight and have a fiery death

i wish i was a genius

im sorry I grant wishes not miricals

I wish that Middlesbrough was the best

cena-rules wrote:

diddle wrote:

The Kurgan wrote:Granted, but you have so many that you drown in a giant pool of all the things you wished for.

I wish I could play guitar like Hendrix.

granted, but whilst setting your guitar on fire you catch alight and have a fiery death

i wish i was a genius

im sorry I grant wishes not miricals

I wish that Middlesbrough was the best

granted, middlesborough rise to the top of the premiership, then the players realise how ugly the manager is and leave for charlton

i wish chelsea supporters would all burn in hell

cena-rules wrote:im sorry I grant wishes not miricals

I wish that Middlesbrough was the best

Granted but all the players they have to buy to get anywhere near decent bankrupts them and they are forced to retire from professional sport amidst lawsuits.

I wish I would heal.

The1exile wrote:

cena-rules wrote:im sorry I grant wishes not miricals

I wish that Middlesbrough was the best

Granted but all the players they have to buy to get anywhere near decent bankrupts them and they are forced to retire from professional sport amidst lawsuits.

I wish I would heal.

Granted, you are healed, too bad someone just shot you in the head.

I wish I had a better car.

granted but the insurance is too high forcing you into bankruptcy

i wish i had something to wish for

You do, but it backfires on you and you rot in hell for being a selfish, little, pompous, prick.

I wish to know everything in the world.

Granted but then the mafia torture you for information and then kill you