Submit Your Best Metaphor (not euphemism) for Impotence

[Funkyterrance]

My top 2:

1. Playing pool with a rope
2. Putting a raw oyster into a slot machine

Shout out to saxi for my inspriration!

[Votanic]

My top 2:

1. Playing pool with a rope
2. Putting a raw oyster into a slot machine

Shout out to saxi for my inspriration!

Gee, hmm... how about...
"Toss her a dildo with one hand, turn on the T.V. with the other."

[Pack Rat]

My top 2:

1. Playing pool with a rope
2. Putting a raw oyster into a slot machine

Shout out to saxi for my inspriration!

Gee, hmm... how about...
"Toss her a dildo with one hand, turn on the T.V. with the other."

Sounds like you are a pro with a dildo. Oops, sorry to interrupt your tv time.

[Funkyterrance]

My top 2:

1. Playing pool with a rope
2. Putting a raw oyster into a slot machine

Shout out to saxi for my inspriration!

Gee, hmm... how about...
"Toss her a dildo with one hand, turn on the T.V. with the other."

Sounds like you are a pro with a dildo. Oops, sorry to interrupt your tv time.

Yeah Bro I hope you wiped it off first!

[Votanic]

My top 2:

1. Playing pool with a rope
2. Putting a raw oyster into a slot machine

Shout out to saxi for my inspriration!

Gee, hmm... how about...
"Toss her a dildo with one hand, turn on the T.V. with the other."

Sounds like you are a pro with a dildo. Oops, sorry to interrupt your tv time.

Yeah Bro I hope you wiped it off first!

So much for being considerate. Next time, all you catchers can go fetch your own dildoes.
As if any orifice out there could compete with 1000s of channels + endless video & online streaming.
Sex is for the desperate...

[jonesthecurl]

Mr Wobbly tries to hide his helmet.

[KoolBak]

Throwing a hotdog down a hallway.

[DirtyDishSoap]

Putting my wrinkle stick into a sleepy snail

[Lonous]

Trying to hammer nails with a fish

[Funkyterrance]

Trying to hammer nails with a fish

Qualifier #1

You other guys! I can make another for metaphors for sex seeing as you all don’t seem to have saxi’s problem and are randy as f*ck!

[2dimes]

Can't raise the flag.

[Funkyterrance]

Can't raise the flag.

Qualifier #2

[Pack Rat]

Houston, we have a problem

[Pack Rat]

My top 2:

1. Playing pool with a rope
2. Putting a raw oyster into a slot machine

Shout out to saxi for my inspriration!

Gee, hmm... how about...
"Toss her a dildo with one hand, turn on the T.V. with the other."

Sounds like you are a pro with a dildo. Oops, sorry to interrupt your tv time.

Yeah Bro I hope you wiped it off first!

So much for being considerate. Next time, all you catchers can go fetch your own dildoes.
As if any orifice out there could compete with 1000s of channels + endless video & online streaming.
Sex is for the desperate...

At least you never have/had to worry about pregnancy, STDs, pre-ejaculation, double bag and chewing your arm off, which hole to use, getting a curly stuck in the back of your throat and a host of other reasons to stay pure, until your wedding night.

[Votanic]

My top 2:

1. Playing pool with a rope
2. Putting a raw oyster into a slot machine

Shout out to saxi for my inspriration!

Gee, hmm... how about...
"Toss her a dildo with one hand, turn on the T.V. with the other."

Sounds like you are a pro with a dildo. Oops, sorry to interrupt your tv time.

Yeah Bro I hope you wiped it off first!

So much for being considerate. Next time, all you catchers can go fetch your own dildoes.
As if any orifice out there could compete with 1000s of channels + endless video & online streaming.
Sex is for the desperate...

At least you never have/had to worry about pregnancy, STDs, pre-ejaculation, double bag and chewing your arm off, which hole to use, getting a curly stuck in the back of your throat and a host of other reasons to stay pure, until your wedding night.

This might be your best post ever, Rat.
Just posting a simple, practical list of of common-sense things to avoid is a refreshing improvement for you.
In the future continue to avoid any ill-advised attempts at wit, cleverness, advanced reasoning, political discourse, or other matters beyond your ken.
As long as you safely stay in your limited comprehension zone, you should be fine.

[mookiemcgee]

My erection is like a cat in a bag being drowned.

[Votanic]

My erection is like a cat in a bag being drowned.

Well then... just wait until rigor mortis sets in and you're golden.